It's the week, y'all. The week where we women try really hard not to have expectation, so we don't seem high maintenance and then aren't disappointed by a lack of [what the world calls] romance.
I think back over Valentine's Days in year's past, and they were so much fun before I got married.
Don't worry, I bring it back around, and Aaron doesn't end up under the bus. Stay with me here.
In college, a bunch of my friends got together and obnoxiously made t-shirts.
Oh yes, we did.
This was before Galentine's Day and after Single Ladies was released.
We weren't resentful or angry about being single; we laughed about it and made fun of the t-shirts we were making, and we had a blast.
But the fall after I made my Shoulda put a ring on it shirt, I started dating Aaron, and my Valentine's Days changed from being a day full of jokes about our t-shirts to a day of expectation.
Disclaimer, guys: I'm so sorry about this. I apologize on behalf of all the ladies with uncommunicated expectation. I apologize that you have to read her mind and that she might be too nervous to tell you that she loves the idea of getting roses on Valentine's Day.
Lemme just tell you how our first Valentine's Days went:
- "I don't really like roses; they're so cliche. I really love tulips, though!"
Gets tulips on Valentine's Day and is sad that everyone else got roses.
- "We have service, so we won't have time to do anything anyway. Let's just do something fun this weekend."
Is asked what Aaron did for Valentine's Day all throughout service. Tries to answer positively about the weekend but is super sad.
- "You really don't have to do anything on Valentine's Day. We'll deliver cookies to schools and just hang out the rest of the day. I don't really care."
Fight ensues after cookie delivery and lack of dinner reservation. Cries on couch during Top Gun and leaves halfway through to clip toenails and go to sleep.
- "It's okay for you to take a class on Valentine's Day; I'll just go to the zoo with some kids."
Sulks at the zoo all day at the lack of surprises, is too tired to do anything after. Goes to sleep early.
- "We've been sick; don't worry about planning anything."
This is where it turned around. After four years of my lying, Aaron stopped believing me, took me to Little Italy, and celebrated a day that the world tells us is required to celebrate love.
Why did I do that? I'm totally telling on myself in hopes that you'll have the courage to be honest with yourself and then be honest with your man because five years of uncommunicated expectation is just silly, y'all.
Now, for Valentine's Day, Aaron sends me roses, and I write him a note. We try to do something special, and since this Valentine's Day lands on a Wednesday, we'll probably celebrate the day before.
Some of y'all are shaming me for giving in to culture, and, it's true that I let the comparison game steal my joy for the first four Valentine's Days, but it's also true that it doesn't hurt to use what culture's created to celebrate one of the best things about life: LOVE.
I hope your Valentine's Day doesn't look like our first four years. I hope you either have the courage to communicate expectation or that you go above and beyond--no matter what your love says.